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2014 Paris smiling at tennis

I’m a fan of BBC Sherlock, and of the actor Benedict Cumberbatch. If you haven’t seen him in anything, he’s worth checking out. Really an excellent actor.

I’m posting the following on my Tumblr page, but am also putting it here, because I like it, & want to have a record of it outside of Tumblr. It’s a response, basically, to some very weird and often downright creepy ‘fan’ rumors that are being spread about him and his new wife. Believe me, if you haven’t seen them, you don’t want to. They’re vile. This isn’t. Note: it’s written in Tumblr ‘style’, at least one that’s common among the people I follow there, to give it a realistic feel.

Here goes:

“I’ve been bugged by the haters’ ‘theories’ – i.e. highly imaginative, highly unlikely, scenarios – I wish they’d just get honest about the fact that they’re writing fiction. It’d be a better way to get it out of their systems.

“So I have a confession: after seeing more of it than I should have, I was really tempted to submit something to them, but was afraid some of them might believe it was true. And it would’ve been a cruel joke, so I’m glad I have enough restraint that I didn’t do it that way. My idea tickles me, though, so I wanted to share it as the fiction it is. Here goes. Hope you enjoy it. You can tell it’s fiction because there’s too much detail lol. I like to think that it’s not really badly written?

“‘My brother’s in military intelligence. He’s friends with a woman, a co-worker of his, who used to work at Area 51. If you’ve ever heard about it, you’ll know that it’s long been rumored to be the site of space alien-related research and archives. Anyway, this woman had seen both Benedict & Sophie there, during the couple of years she (the co-worker) was stationed there. They were both born here (on Earth, I mean), but they’re both genetically not of this world. In fact, though they can pass for human, they aren’t, and their species actually can’t even reproduce with us.

“‘Essentially, they’re deep-cover observers and advisors, along with a few thousand others of their species who are permanent residents here. So the point is, it’s a factor in their marriage, in the fact that they got married, and the physical resemblance between them is actually a sign of looks that are common to their species.

“‘I was concerned, when I first heard about the alien thing thing from my sib – of course. I mean, it really freaked me out. That was about 10 years ago. (My brother’s a lot older than me.) But he’s met some of them, though not Ben or Sophie, and he says they’re cool and not here to like subjugate humans or anything. One of their transports crash-landed here about 1000 years ago, and they reproduce because they’re lots like us emotionally & socially, & love their families and all that shit, but they make it a point to not increase their numbers. Their own people did finally find them here. It took a while, because when the ship crashed their comms were destroyed, & they were in deep sleep for several years, and it takes about 50 years to get a signal to their home planet, but by then they’d gotten used to Earth and our cultures, and decided to stay because it had become ‘home’ to them. They think we’re a creepy species, at times, but basically they like us. I don’t blame them, on the creepy part.

“‘I wonder if they ever all get together for cruises or ‘reunions’ or something? Probably not; there’d be so many that it’d be noticeable, and they might get found out by the public at large. Then the jig would be up.

“‘So, that’s the actual scoop, and maybe why this couple seems weird to some outside observers. This is all highly-classified and I don’t want to get anybody in trouble, which is why I’m submitting this as an Anon.’ (Of course, in actuality, I’m not Anon at all)

“copyright me, 2015

“(Please reblog rather than re-posting. You can link to this, if you want to on another site. If this gets re-posted & attributed to anyone other than me, or spread as if it weren’t fiction, I will find out and anyone who does it will be in trouble because this original post exists. Just sayin’. It’ll also be on my personal, non-Tumblr blog.)”

2014 Dec what BC learned